Dan

They say coffee is addictive, but that statement probably makes smack addicts roll their (glassy, bloodshot) eyes.

But if getting hooked on hard drugs does bear some resemblance to getting hooked on coffee, I can speak for its insidiousness, because I’ve definitely developed a cocaine dependency.

No, no! I was kidding. Only kidding. Don’t call your intervention planner just yet. I promise not to jack you for your cash so I can turn it in for pure, uncut Colombian.

But I’m definitely spending time these days thinking about coffee.

I blame Australia, where delicious espresso is available on literally every corner. Did I tell you about that one office tower in downtown Sydney that had three different cafes at street level? If I have, there’s proof right there that caffeine does NOT improve the memory.

But seriously, Australia is like the Amalfi Coast with fewer olive orchards and more poisonous snakes, so Tourism Italy better watch their backs.

The Little Continent That Could is comin’ for all y’all bitches.

Back to coffee, though. The other culprit in my annihilation is Starbucks, for selling delicious things that are mostly sugar and milk, so they don’t even taste like coffee, but there’s just enough coffee in there that one day you think, how bad could the plain stuff be? And then you find out they’ve had like four different blends at the office all along that you can drink for free, and you’ve been paying four dollars and seventy-nine cents for nothing.

And now the little confections I get at Starbucks seem cloyingly sweet and I’m grinding my own beans for the French press and my entire world is coming apart at the seams.

So I need help. Listen, coffee drinkers: if you can steady your goddamn fingers long enough to type a coherent reply, where’s the balance between paying five bucks a cup and drinking way too much coffee at home?

(Privately, I’m hoping the answer involves drinking coffee.)

This entry was posted on Sunday, September 6th, 2009 at 1:41 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.